(8) Fast Cars and Freedom (8)

So today was a very significant day. I'm going to be honest and tell you that I woke up this morning feeling really quite depressed again. It's lame, but I've been feeling that way quite a bit lately. I just have really been feeling low on myself and my whole situation; however, the day turned out quite differently than I thought it would.

I got to spend some time with some people that are really special to me. They hung out with me because I practically begged them, but it was still really nice of them. As I was spending time with them today, I really started to feel happy again. I'm not saying that the past week or so has been filled with 100% unhappiness, because it definitely hasn't. I probably wouldn't even say that 25% of my time has been unhappy. It's just that when my unhappiness reaches above about 10% I don't know what to do. I'm really used to being relatively happy most of the time. So anyways, the point to all of this is that today I decided to set some goals for myself.

I decided today that it was time for me to stop surviving through my days and to start living them instead. There are going to be a few positive changes in my life. I figure that starting out college is a good time to start improving myself too. I think that I kind of lost sight of what I want to be, and I'm ready to get back on that. School is important, but it's so much more important for me to develop the other sides of myself. I know that everything isn't going to go perfect, but it's going to get better. I have faith that it will. My aunt told me that it really might not get better, but I know that it will. I know that someone is watching out for me, and that He's guiding my life so that I can have the best opportunities to grow. That's how I'm looking at this new experience from now on- an opportunity to stretch myself and to grow as a person. This doesn't mean that it'll be easy, but will it be worth it? You better believe it'll be worth it.

So the moral of the story tonight is that I made some pretty sweet goals for myself. They're things that I'm really excited about accomplishing, and I'm ready to face the things that life is throwing at me right now. I can't promise that I won't get down on myself again, but I'm going to do all that I can to make those sad times fewer and fewer as I get better at doing my very best all the time. I feel strengthened tonight. I know that things are going to work out, and I know that I'm going through all of this for a reason. I'm one of those people that believes that everything is for a reason. I don't always know the reason, and honestly, I usually really wish I did know the reason, but I know it's all for a reason.

Sorry about all the errors in this post. I got really caught up in what I was writing. Thanks for listening friends, and I hope you're all doing well. It's all going to turn out all right. It'll probably even be better than all right. I'm shooting for spectacular tonight.

-Fluffy