So you'd think that since I have practically nothing to do that it would be a lot easier for me to post. I think I've only posted on this blog once since the break started. For the record, the break's been awesome fun.
You know, things really are going to be all right. I am just really blessed, and I'm so grateful that I know that things are going to turn out for the better no matter what. I have someone looking out for me, and I'm really grateful for that.
My mom said something that really stuck with me the other day. She said that she was trying harder to live in the moment instead of constantly looking forward to what was coming next and what needed to be done. I really took that to heart when she told me that because I'm often looking forward to things or waiting for the next seemingly better thing to come along. But really, sometimes I miss some pretty great moments because I'm waiting for the ones that I think will be better.
So I'm trying harder to take my mom's advice on that one. When I'm with certain people I'm trying to be happy about it and be in the moment. Because sometimes moments can be unexpectedly splendid even though we're not anticipating it.
I hope that you're all doing well tonight and that your break has been really great. I think you're all great and I'm glad that we're all just trying to do our best with what we've been given. I'm here if you need me ;)
-Fluffy
Thursday, January 01, 2009
Thursday, December 18, 2008
(8) Big girl (you are beautiful) (8)
Today is post 100! This may be a bit over the top, but I don't really care. I'm having fun with my blog today. I've been thinking a lot about what I would put for post 100 and so I looked at activities you can do for 100 day in school. But none of them really seemed to fit into the blogosphere. So instead I'm just going to list some things about myself. Lame? Probably. Am I going to do it anyway? Yes.
10 Things that make me happy... (no particular order)
1. Balloons
2. Happy Children
3. Music
4. Boys that like girls for who they are and not what they look like
5. Sugar Free pudding and jell-o jigglers
6. dance parties
7. Breaks from school
8. Playing Games
9. Winning Games
10.The Rain
3 Things I love...
1. Family
2. Friends
3. The Gospel
12 Songs or artists that I like right now...
a) Hairspray (almost all of the songs)
b) Big girl you are beautiful by Mika
c) Rascal Flatts (all of their songs)
d) Try a little tenderness by Michael Buble
e) Colbie Cailet
f) Carrie Underwood
g) Daughter of a King
h) Steadfast and Immovable
i) So close from Enchanted
j) Bella's Lullaby from Twilight
k) The Mo Tab
j) BYU Men's Choir
5 Things I don't like...
1. Cottage Cheese
2. Anxiety
3. Snow
4. Stupid boys
5. Shopping for Clothes
5 fun goals that I have...
1. Go somewhere cool and do humanitarian work
2. Sky Dive
3. Eat something exotic while being somewhere exotic
4. Go on a road trip with friends
5. River Raft
3 Serious goals I have...
1. Be a wife and mom
2. Go on a mission if it's right for me
3. Join the Mo Tab
Top 5 Movies...
1. Heavyweights
2. Emperor's New Groove
3. Enchanted
4. Hairspray
5. The Goofy Movie
Top 4 TV shows...
1. Iron Chef America
2. Biggest Loser
3. Food Network Challenge
4. What Not To Wear
Well that's probably enough. I could go for 100 but I don't think anyone would enjoy reading that many things about me. ;) That was fun! I hope that the 100th post lived up to everyone's expectations. It certainly lived up to mine. I had a lot of fun writing those lists and making that picture. Now I need to go study.
Have a great night, everyone. Happy 100th post day!
-Fluffy
Sunday, December 14, 2008
(8) All I want for Christmas is you (8)
I haven't written here for a while, but I feel like I want to tonight. I'm feeling... thoughtful tonight. I have some time before I need to start studying for my final on Tuesday so I thought I'd stop by and write. Sometimes it's nice to just write for me. Not because I have a final paper due or a chart to make for something, but just because I feel like writing. My grammer isn't super great when I write here, but I feel all right about that.
Today was a day mixed with all sorts of emotions and feelings. Stuart's farewell meeting was awesome, then I had a near anxiety attack at his house because of all the people, then I made a new friend at church, then I ate my favorite dinner, then I thought about some more difficult things, and now I'm writing to try and forget about the difficult things. My day has been filled with all sorts of ups and downs. My tiredness is probably adding to the more down areas, but all in all it's been a pretty good day.
I'm going to be honest. Sometimes I don't always say everything I want to say on this blog because I know other people read it, but I guess that's probably a good thing. But for the sake of the post, it's been a pretty good day.
So I have my finals coming up this week. I'm feeling pretty good about most of them, so hopefully I'll do well. I also have juries. Those could either be really terrifying or kind of fun depending on how I feel on Tuesday. I'm hoping that it'll lean more towards the fun side. But we'll see what happens.
I know that what I'm doing is what I'm supposed to be doing. Do I always think that it's spectacular? Not always. But I'm happy to report that I am pretty happy with my life right now. Well, I'm off to study. Wish me luck.
-Fluffy
Today was a day mixed with all sorts of emotions and feelings. Stuart's farewell meeting was awesome, then I had a near anxiety attack at his house because of all the people, then I made a new friend at church, then I ate my favorite dinner, then I thought about some more difficult things, and now I'm writing to try and forget about the difficult things. My day has been filled with all sorts of ups and downs. My tiredness is probably adding to the more down areas, but all in all it's been a pretty good day.
I'm going to be honest. Sometimes I don't always say everything I want to say on this blog because I know other people read it, but I guess that's probably a good thing. But for the sake of the post, it's been a pretty good day.
So I have my finals coming up this week. I'm feeling pretty good about most of them, so hopefully I'll do well. I also have juries. Those could either be really terrifying or kind of fun depending on how I feel on Tuesday. I'm hoping that it'll lean more towards the fun side. But we'll see what happens.
I know that what I'm doing is what I'm supposed to be doing. Do I always think that it's spectacular? Not always. But I'm happy to report that I am pretty happy with my life right now. Well, I'm off to study. Wish me luck.
-Fluffy
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
(8) I would walk 500 miles (8)
Well I'm writing today because I have nothing better to do. I'll start working on my theory soon, but I don't think it's going to take me three hours... My class was cancelled, and for that I am grateful. But I don't know what to do with myself. I'm meeting with my adviser at one and it is now 10:42. That's still a long ways away. So I'll write here. I'm getting ever closer to 100 posts. I'm sure that no one but me thinks that's pretty exciting, but when it's post 100 you'll all know ;)
Today has been just a really dandy day. I played pretty well for my French Horn playing test, and yesterday I kept myself at a relatively solid A in my online class. I'm not sure that I'll be able to keep it up for the final, but I'm doing my very best. And I finally picked a song for my keyboarding recital. It's in two weeks so I hope I have time to make it beautiful. I'm playing a very beautiful arrangement of Silent Night. I think it'll be a lot of fun. I won't get the extra credit for having it memorized, but I'll play something :D
The best part of today was being a spy. Jessica and I were coughing spies during our break. It was pretty fun.
I am so so so excited for Thanksgiving break. Just thinking about pumpkin pie makes me hungry. It'll be a really good weekend to just do whatever I want. I think that I'm going to go to the little volleyball tournament that my ward is having. I asked for work off so I could go, and now I just have to be brave. Sometimes playing games (especially sports) with boys isn't very fun. But I told myself that if I go I'm just going to have fun and do my best. I haven't played for quite a while, but I love volleyball. I'm just scared some huge boy is going to spike it in my face. Wouldn't that be terrible? I keep envisioning it in my head over and over. Scary. But really, it should be a fun thing for Saturday. I'll let you know if my face gets torn off by a volleyball. Hopefully nothing that traumatic happens, but you never know.
Well I've now wasted about 8 minutes writing this post, so I guess I'll do some theory. Boo theory. Have a spectacular day everyone!
-Fluffy
Today has been just a really dandy day. I played pretty well for my French Horn playing test, and yesterday I kept myself at a relatively solid A in my online class. I'm not sure that I'll be able to keep it up for the final, but I'm doing my very best. And I finally picked a song for my keyboarding recital. It's in two weeks so I hope I have time to make it beautiful. I'm playing a very beautiful arrangement of Silent Night. I think it'll be a lot of fun. I won't get the extra credit for having it memorized, but I'll play something :D
The best part of today was being a spy. Jessica and I were coughing spies during our break. It was pretty fun.
I am so so so excited for Thanksgiving break. Just thinking about pumpkin pie makes me hungry. It'll be a really good weekend to just do whatever I want. I think that I'm going to go to the little volleyball tournament that my ward is having. I asked for work off so I could go, and now I just have to be brave. Sometimes playing games (especially sports) with boys isn't very fun. But I told myself that if I go I'm just going to have fun and do my best. I haven't played for quite a while, but I love volleyball. I'm just scared some huge boy is going to spike it in my face. Wouldn't that be terrible? I keep envisioning it in my head over and over. Scary. But really, it should be a fun thing for Saturday. I'll let you know if my face gets torn off by a volleyball. Hopefully nothing that traumatic happens, but you never know.
Well I've now wasted about 8 minutes writing this post, so I guess I'll do some theory. Boo theory. Have a spectacular day everyone!
-Fluffy
Thursday, November 13, 2008
(8) nee, nay, nah, no, noo (8)
So something pretty spectacular happened this very day. Flash back about three and a half hours ago to my voice lesson. I walked into said lesson with little else on my mind but making it through the lesson without drying out my throat because I lost my water bottle. I was focused on making it through and getting to other parts of my day. So we start with the usual "nee nay nah no noo" warm-up and I feel like I'm doing pretty well. Now fast forward 20 minutes. We're starting a more difficult warm-up and he tells me a specific ways he wants me to sing the warm-up. So I do. Then, the break through. Suddenly I was singing all mature like. My teacher says, "I think we found Melissa's voice," and we continue to work on it. It was amazing. I have NEVER heard myself sound so... grown up while I sing. I mean I'm not going to be an opera star or anything, but I sounded mature. It's cool. There was so much more power and freedom in my voice. It was really really really cool, and it made me feel pretty good too.
Today's been interesting, and that story might have been a bit more exciting about 3 hours ago when my lesson was over. I was feeling pretty giddy around that time. But it's still a good story and a good day. I have a lot more day left, but I'm excited for it.
I really just wanted to stop in and write about that story. So, I'll be posting again tomorrow hopefully. Have a super good night, friends. I hope you're all doing really well.
-Fluffy
Today's been interesting, and that story might have been a bit more exciting about 3 hours ago when my lesson was over. I was feeling pretty giddy around that time. But it's still a good story and a good day. I have a lot more day left, but I'm excited for it.
I really just wanted to stop in and write about that story. So, I'll be posting again tomorrow hopefully. Have a super good night, friends. I hope you're all doing really well.
-Fluffy
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
(8) This is just a dream (8)
I wish I could sing like Carrie Underwood. I've been watching the CMA awards for the past little while. She was the best. No battle. My mom just told me she's the female vocalist of the year, and I'm not too surprised. She rocks.
So it's been a pretty long time since I've written on this blog of mine. Nine days according to Katie. ;) I'm doing really quite well with this whole school thing. There are still things that I need to do better, but I'm trying. I'm making friends, and I'm even doing something with a few of them this weekend. I wasn't sure that I'd ever have friends at school, but I'm happy that I do. They're great.
I kind of want to write for the next 5 days in a row so that I can get to 100 posts. I'm not sure that I'll do it, but the 100th post on this blog is going to be a pretty spectacular one. I might even draw balloons on paint and post them here. We'll see what happens.
Life is good and things are going well. That definitely doesn't mean that there aren't hard days, but it means that those days are fewer and less significant. I hope you're all doing well and that things are going great for you. Good luck with school, work, or whatever you're doing these days.
-Fluffy
P.S. Shout out to Katie. Good luck with your tests! You'll be great!
So it's been a pretty long time since I've written on this blog of mine. Nine days according to Katie. ;) I'm doing really quite well with this whole school thing. There are still things that I need to do better, but I'm trying. I'm making friends, and I'm even doing something with a few of them this weekend. I wasn't sure that I'd ever have friends at school, but I'm happy that I do. They're great.
I kind of want to write for the next 5 days in a row so that I can get to 100 posts. I'm not sure that I'll do it, but the 100th post on this blog is going to be a pretty spectacular one. I might even draw balloons on paint and post them here. We'll see what happens.
Life is good and things are going well. That definitely doesn't mean that there aren't hard days, but it means that those days are fewer and less significant. I hope you're all doing well and that things are going great for you. Good luck with school, work, or whatever you're doing these days.
-Fluffy
P.S. Shout out to Katie. Good luck with your tests! You'll be great!
Monday, November 03, 2008
(8) Rollin' Rollin' Rollin' (8)
I'm writing from the music building's computer lab. I heard someone say that they had twelve music classes this semester... and here I was thinking that ten was bad. So, I'm slowly realizing that this keeping my head barely above water thing isn't working out so well for me. I've never been much of a studier, but I think I'm going to have to start working harder at this homework thing. We did rhythm clapping today and talked about instrumental music. What if I get stuck teaching instrumental music?!? What am I going to do? I know nothing about instrumental music, and I definitely don't know enough to teach other people how to do it.
I'm feeling really stressed right now, so I thought that writing on my blog would help me relieve some of that stress. It's working, and I'm feeling a little better.
Yesterday was a really good and bad day for me. I got a lot of things done that should have been done a long time ago, but it still felt good to finish it. I did a tiny bit of homework this week, but not enough. I had a sudden prompting that I needed to go to the CES fireside last night. I've been to one before, and it was all right. But literally I felt like I needed to go about five minutes before it started. So I ran down stairs and threw on a dress all while thinking about how crazy I was acting and I dashed over to the church. I made it just as the opening song was starting. I definitely needed to be there. The presiding bishop talked a lot about what we would make of ourselves. It was good for me to hear. I mean I'm progressing and doing well, but there's still more that I can be doing. The only hard part was realizing that I still have no friends in my singles ward. But I'm sure I'll find some soon. I was worried about it last night, but I'm not super worried about it today. I'll be there for a year at least. That gives me plenty of time to make friends. I hope.
I lead the music in sacrament meeting yesterday! It was absolutely terrifying. It was pretty fun though after I got past the feeling of terror. So it ended up being a pretty exciting adventure.
So my good news of the day is that I got a new job. I start today. I'm working at my mom's school on Mondays after I get out of school. I'm going to be an aide for their after school choir program. So basically I'm going to teach small children to sing. That's the goal at least, and I'm pretty excited about it. Well, I'm scared and excited, but it'll be good. It'll be a really great way for me to ease into the whole teaching business. We'll see how it goes...
So yeah, that's my life right now. I'm getting almost enough sleep, not studying hard enough, trying to change, trying to balance, teaching, learning, and most importantly I'm just trying to be my very best me. It's working pretty well, but I'm not feeling quite so great about everything today. I'm going to try and work harder at this school thing.
I hope you're all doing well. Things are great here minus the cold, and I hope they're great for all of you as well. Have a great week and a spectacular Monday.
-Fluffy
I'm feeling really stressed right now, so I thought that writing on my blog would help me relieve some of that stress. It's working, and I'm feeling a little better.
Yesterday was a really good and bad day for me. I got a lot of things done that should have been done a long time ago, but it still felt good to finish it. I did a tiny bit of homework this week, but not enough. I had a sudden prompting that I needed to go to the CES fireside last night. I've been to one before, and it was all right. But literally I felt like I needed to go about five minutes before it started. So I ran down stairs and threw on a dress all while thinking about how crazy I was acting and I dashed over to the church. I made it just as the opening song was starting. I definitely needed to be there. The presiding bishop talked a lot about what we would make of ourselves. It was good for me to hear. I mean I'm progressing and doing well, but there's still more that I can be doing. The only hard part was realizing that I still have no friends in my singles ward. But I'm sure I'll find some soon. I was worried about it last night, but I'm not super worried about it today. I'll be there for a year at least. That gives me plenty of time to make friends. I hope.
I lead the music in sacrament meeting yesterday! It was absolutely terrifying. It was pretty fun though after I got past the feeling of terror. So it ended up being a pretty exciting adventure.
So my good news of the day is that I got a new job. I start today. I'm working at my mom's school on Mondays after I get out of school. I'm going to be an aide for their after school choir program. So basically I'm going to teach small children to sing. That's the goal at least, and I'm pretty excited about it. Well, I'm scared and excited, but it'll be good. It'll be a really great way for me to ease into the whole teaching business. We'll see how it goes...
So yeah, that's my life right now. I'm getting almost enough sleep, not studying hard enough, trying to change, trying to balance, teaching, learning, and most importantly I'm just trying to be my very best me. It's working pretty well, but I'm not feeling quite so great about everything today. I'm going to try and work harder at this school thing.
I hope you're all doing well. Things are great here minus the cold, and I hope they're great for all of you as well. Have a great week and a spectacular Monday.
-Fluffy
Saturday, November 01, 2008
(8) It feels like today (8)
Doesn't it feel great to just feel great about things? It just feels so great tonight to be moving forward and being who I am. I'm not really sure how to describe how I feel other than saying that I feel rather content. I felt content a lot today and I thought about a lot today. The past few days have been really good for me. I haven't done as much school work as I should, but I've been moving forward on some other things. Now I just need to focus on the school side again for a bit.
Things are going well, and I'm feeling good. I hope that you're all doing well tonight too. Have a great weekend, and I hope your Halloween was filled with awesomeness. Night.
-Fluffy
Things are going well, and I'm feeling good. I hope that you're all doing well tonight too. Have a great weekend, and I hope your Halloween was filled with awesomeness. Night.
-Fluffy
Monday, October 27, 2008
(8) Someone needs your star (8)
Something pretty great happened this fine evening. It wasn't really what I planned to have happen, but it turned out really well. My family was going to go out to dinner tonight to support my sister in this fundraiser she's doing for soccer, but Glen called me and invited me to go and see a play with him at Hale. Into the Woods is a great play by the way. Loved it. I had a really good time with Glen, and his parents were super nice to me.
The point of the story is that tonight made me feel like I'm doing all right. I'm not perfect or anywhere near perfect, but I'm doing OK. It's just a good feeling to feel like I don't need to worry so much about the future and other things that seem to be so pressing. I don't need to worry so much about people not liking me. I think deep down somewhere in my heart I really do know that things are going to be great in the end. It's just been hard to remember that every day. It's especially hard to remember that when I don't feel like things are going the way I think they should. But today I feel like things are going to be all right. Today was a little push towards following yesterday's quote of the day.
Things really are going well for me. I'm moving forward and learning new things about myself. I'm learning to be open to other people and to let people in to see who I am. It's super scary for me, but I'm doing it because I know that it's the best thing for me. I really hope you're all doing well tonight. I'm always here to talk if you need someone or if you just want someone to say hi to. :) Good night, friends. Good luck with your Tuesday.
-Fluffy
"When referring to an individual, including yourself, never use the word 'just'." -President Hinckley
The point of the story is that tonight made me feel like I'm doing all right. I'm not perfect or anywhere near perfect, but I'm doing OK. It's just a good feeling to feel like I don't need to worry so much about the future and other things that seem to be so pressing. I don't need to worry so much about people not liking me. I think deep down somewhere in my heart I really do know that things are going to be great in the end. It's just been hard to remember that every day. It's especially hard to remember that when I don't feel like things are going the way I think they should. But today I feel like things are going to be all right. Today was a little push towards following yesterday's quote of the day.
Things really are going well for me. I'm moving forward and learning new things about myself. I'm learning to be open to other people and to let people in to see who I am. It's super scary for me, but I'm doing it because I know that it's the best thing for me. I really hope you're all doing well tonight. I'm always here to talk if you need someone or if you just want someone to say hi to. :) Good night, friends. Good luck with your Tuesday.
-Fluffy
"When referring to an individual, including yourself, never use the word 'just'." -President Hinckley
Sunday, October 26, 2008
(8) It's not like you (8)
Hey, friends. I don't really have anything special to write about tonight, but I do like writing on my blog. This weekend has been pretty interesting for me. It was so great to see everyone. It's just great to have people around me that really care about me. It was nice.
The quote of the day is a pretty awesome one. It's from this last conference, and I think it sort of sums up what I need to do right now. Things are different, but that doesn't mean it has to be miserable. I'm going to try my very best to "love it."
I guess I really don't have too much to say tonight. I just wanted to stop by and let you all know that things are going well. Things are moving along and I'm learning and growing. I hope that you're all doing well tonight as well. Good night, friends. Good luck with your week.
-Fluffy
"Come what may, and love it." -Joseph B. Wirthlin's mother
The quote of the day is a pretty awesome one. It's from this last conference, and I think it sort of sums up what I need to do right now. Things are different, but that doesn't mean it has to be miserable. I'm going to try my very best to "love it."
I guess I really don't have too much to say tonight. I just wanted to stop by and let you all know that things are going well. Things are moving along and I'm learning and growing. I hope that you're all doing well tonight as well. Good night, friends. Good luck with your week.
-Fluffy
"Come what may, and love it." -Joseph B. Wirthlin's mother
Thursday, October 23, 2008
(8) I've got you under my skin (8)
Today has been a super crazy day for me. I was late getting up this morning so I had to drive to school. I really like driving to school because I feel some sort of strange comfort knowing that my car is with me. It just feels great knowing that I can bring EXTRA things to school and keep them in my car. I know it's weird, but it makes me pretty happy. But driving also has a pretty big downside coupled with it. I have to walk from the institute building to David Gardner hall, and that's a really long walk. Plus it was cold. I do look pretty cute today though. So things could be worse. ;)
I thought about things being worse twice today. Just now and earlier when I was feeling fat. I looked at the elevator's capacity of 4000 lbs and thought, "at least I can fit on the elevator." "Things could be worse." It made me smile and laugh to think that in my head. It was a shame that there was no one in the elevator that I could share the random thought with. It was a pretty good one.
I had to sing for the whole vocal music freshman class today. There's a little more than 40 of us, and I thought I was going to die. I was so scared. And I had picked my "brave" song to sing last night when I was feeling brave. I wasn't feeling quite so brave this morning, but I felt like I did really well. I gave it my all. My legs and hands were shaking uncontrollably, but I feel good about it. It felt good to do well, and I'm really grateful that I feel good about it. My voice lesson went well too. He told me I have good over tones. I like over tones so I guess I'm pretty glad that I have good ones ;)
Today has been a pretty silly day. Stressful and long? Yes. Good? Also a yes. Things are going to be all right. There is so much that I can improve, but I'm still going strong with my small and simple goal. It's really working for me to try and make a few smaller things better right now. Things are going well for me, and I really hope that things are going well for all of you as well. Have a stupendously spectacular day!
-Fluffy
The quote today isn't the quote that I was looking for, but it's by the same man. It's a really great quote. Hopefully I'll be able to find the other quote that inspired me to look him up. Sorry, it's long. :)
"Life is simply time given to man to learn how to live. Mistakes are always part of learning. The real dignity of life consists in cultivating a fine attitude towards our own mistakes and those of others. It is the fine tolerance of a fine soul. Man becomes great, not through never making mistakes, but by profiting by those he does make; by being satisfied with a single rendition of a mistake not encoring it into a continuous performance; by getting from it the honey of new, regenerating inspiration with no irritating sting of morbid regret; by building better to-day because of his poor yesterday; and by rising with renewed strength, finer purpose and freshened courage every time he falls." -William George Jordan
I thought about things being worse twice today. Just now and earlier when I was feeling fat. I looked at the elevator's capacity of 4000 lbs and thought, "at least I can fit on the elevator." "Things could be worse." It made me smile and laugh to think that in my head. It was a shame that there was no one in the elevator that I could share the random thought with. It was a pretty good one.
I had to sing for the whole vocal music freshman class today. There's a little more than 40 of us, and I thought I was going to die. I was so scared. And I had picked my "brave" song to sing last night when I was feeling brave. I wasn't feeling quite so brave this morning, but I felt like I did really well. I gave it my all. My legs and hands were shaking uncontrollably, but I feel good about it. It felt good to do well, and I'm really grateful that I feel good about it. My voice lesson went well too. He told me I have good over tones. I like over tones so I guess I'm pretty glad that I have good ones ;)
Today has been a pretty silly day. Stressful and long? Yes. Good? Also a yes. Things are going to be all right. There is so much that I can improve, but I'm still going strong with my small and simple goal. It's really working for me to try and make a few smaller things better right now. Things are going well for me, and I really hope that things are going well for all of you as well. Have a stupendously spectacular day!
-Fluffy
The quote today isn't the quote that I was looking for, but it's by the same man. It's a really great quote. Hopefully I'll be able to find the other quote that inspired me to look him up. Sorry, it's long. :)
"Life is simply time given to man to learn how to live. Mistakes are always part of learning. The real dignity of life consists in cultivating a fine attitude towards our own mistakes and those of others. It is the fine tolerance of a fine soul. Man becomes great, not through never making mistakes, but by profiting by those he does make; by being satisfied with a single rendition of a mistake not encoring it into a continuous performance; by getting from it the honey of new, regenerating inspiration with no irritating sting of morbid regret; by building better to-day because of his poor yesterday; and by rising with renewed strength, finer purpose and freshened courage every time he falls." -William George Jordan
Monday, October 20, 2008
"Happiness is your heritage"
Well today was interesting. Did I do anything monumental? Not really. Did I learn a few things that I can do better? I sure did. I had a few of those "Melissa, things really aren't as bad as you're making them out to be," moments. One of those moments happened while I was talking to a new friend. She's kind of having some of the same struggles that I'm having, but she told me that she knows that the U is where she needs to be so she's decided to put her all into it. She's going to make school one of her top priorities.
Am I ready for that right now? No. I can feel in my heart that I'm not ready to let go of some things and make school and making new friends my focus. I'm still trying to figure out how to balance everything, but I feel like in the next little while I'll be able to figure out all that stuff. There have been some nights (my blogging can attest to this) where I've been really really ready to move forward and to be better and to change the world, feed the hungry, and be awesome. I think that doing all of that is going to take a lot more work than I anticipated. So my new plan is to start out slow. I'm changing small things instead of my whole life. I'm being me, but I'm trying to move towards doing things a little bit better than before. I'm not ready for HUGE changes right now. I've had enough of those in the past little while. Now I'm ready to focus on a few smaller things that can be improved.
Things are going to be all right. Good night, friends. I really hope things are going well for you.
-Fluffy
"As spirit daughters of our Heavenly Father, happiness is your heritage." -Dieter Uchtdorf
Am I ready for that right now? No. I can feel in my heart that I'm not ready to let go of some things and make school and making new friends my focus. I'm still trying to figure out how to balance everything, but I feel like in the next little while I'll be able to figure out all that stuff. There have been some nights (my blogging can attest to this) where I've been really really ready to move forward and to be better and to change the world, feed the hungry, and be awesome. I think that doing all of that is going to take a lot more work than I anticipated. So my new plan is to start out slow. I'm changing small things instead of my whole life. I'm being me, but I'm trying to move towards doing things a little bit better than before. I'm not ready for HUGE changes right now. I've had enough of those in the past little while. Now I'm ready to focus on a few smaller things that can be improved.
Things are going to be all right. Good night, friends. I really hope things are going well for you.
-Fluffy
"As spirit daughters of our Heavenly Father, happiness is your heritage." -Dieter Uchtdorf
Sunday, October 19, 2008
(8) You hold more goodness than you know (8)
Well, I took a pretty long break from posting for a while there. I'm not really sure how I feel about it. It's good because I'm writing when I really feel like writing, but it's bad because I don't get that day to day reflection on what I've done and where I'm headed. I'm not really sure which of those will win out in the end, but for now I'm sticking to the writing every once in a while thing. We'll see how it goes.
I've been complaining a lot lately. Maybe I feel like talking about the things that are hard for me feels like complaining. Either way I don't really like it when I complain to people. Sorry Katie. :) I'm going to try and fix that. Things are kind of hard for me right now, and I've been getting the counting my blessings and counting my trials mixed up. It's a whole lot easier to count my trials and say "Look at this! What is going on?" than it is to look at my life and focus on all the good things.
Thatcher wrote that he was ready to be better, and I'm really proud of him for that. I wish that I were in that place tonight. I wish that I were ready to move on and do better things, but tonight I feel kind of stagnant. I feel stuck in the position of trying to hold to things from the past and moving on to new things. It seems like every time I try to move on and be happy and do better, something pulls me back to the less happy side. Right now I feel more like I'm trying to get by. It's kind of like the difference between running through the grass and running through the swimming pool. I'm still moving forward in the swimming pool, but it's a languid forward. It's like I'm using every part of myself to pull myself out of my bed and live another day. It's not that I don't love swimming (AKA life.) It's just been a little bit harder lately to understand why certain things are happening and why I'm feeling certain things.
I'm sort of feeling like I'm at that crossroad between letting go of some things and holding on to other ones. I don't want to let go of some things, but it hurts to hold on to them as tightly as I am. I'm just not really sure what I'm going to do right now. Will I be OK this week? Only time will tell. I'm sure I'll be fine, but will I come out of it emotionally and mentally in tact? Maybe not. We'll see.
We're hoping for the best this week. I'm shooting for the stars and saying that things are going to be all right. I'm going to hold on to what I know will keep me sluggishly shoving myself through the water. And I'll keep a smile on my face. Oh yeah, I can multi-task.
Good luck with your week, friends. I really hope that things go well for you and that you're not pushing through the water. If you are, I'm sure you'll come out a better person. That's what I'm trying to focus on: the big picture. Good night, friends.
-Fluffy
“Work will cure your grief. Serve others.” -President Hinckley
I've been complaining a lot lately. Maybe I feel like talking about the things that are hard for me feels like complaining. Either way I don't really like it when I complain to people. Sorry Katie. :) I'm going to try and fix that. Things are kind of hard for me right now, and I've been getting the counting my blessings and counting my trials mixed up. It's a whole lot easier to count my trials and say "Look at this! What is going on?" than it is to look at my life and focus on all the good things.
Thatcher wrote that he was ready to be better, and I'm really proud of him for that. I wish that I were in that place tonight. I wish that I were ready to move on and do better things, but tonight I feel kind of stagnant. I feel stuck in the position of trying to hold to things from the past and moving on to new things. It seems like every time I try to move on and be happy and do better, something pulls me back to the less happy side. Right now I feel more like I'm trying to get by. It's kind of like the difference between running through the grass and running through the swimming pool. I'm still moving forward in the swimming pool, but it's a languid forward. It's like I'm using every part of myself to pull myself out of my bed and live another day. It's not that I don't love swimming (AKA life.) It's just been a little bit harder lately to understand why certain things are happening and why I'm feeling certain things.
I'm sort of feeling like I'm at that crossroad between letting go of some things and holding on to other ones. I don't want to let go of some things, but it hurts to hold on to them as tightly as I am. I'm just not really sure what I'm going to do right now. Will I be OK this week? Only time will tell. I'm sure I'll be fine, but will I come out of it emotionally and mentally in tact? Maybe not. We'll see.
We're hoping for the best this week. I'm shooting for the stars and saying that things are going to be all right. I'm going to hold on to what I know will keep me sluggishly shoving myself through the water. And I'll keep a smile on my face. Oh yeah, I can multi-task.
Good luck with your week, friends. I really hope that things go well for you and that you're not pushing through the water. If you are, I'm sure you'll come out a better person. That's what I'm trying to focus on: the big picture. Good night, friends.
-Fluffy
“Work will cure your grief. Serve others.” -President Hinckley
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
Compassionionate Service
Sorry to post twice in one night, but I've been thinking about something and I feel like it's something that I really need to say. It could be for the benefit or someone who reads this or it could just be for my own benefit. Either way I think it's an important concept that I'm slowly learning.
You know all of us are trying to do our best. I don't think that very many of us try to be bad at talking on the phone or keeping in touch, but we're not perfect people. We don't always do or say the right things because we're all still learning how this whole human thing works. We're all still trying to figure out if there's such a thing as loving too much or if it's safe to put our complete love into people. Some of us are still learning the significance of faith and the role it plays in our life. There are just so many things that we're all trying to achieve and learn in this life.
Compassion is something that's really important to me. Ms. Parrish once said something about when we lose compassion then we lose what it means to be human. There's a lot of significance in that statement. Compassion is something that is easy to have but not always easy to remember. What I mean is that sometimes it's easier to feel compassion for people when it's obvious that they need our compassion. Seeing someone sick or hurt automatically brings about a certain amount of compassion from the observing people because it's one of those univeral human truths. Compassion is something that we all understand and feel when we see someone in need.
But how much more difficult is it for us to feel compassion for the man who cuts us off or the family member who seems to be acting impossible? It's a lot harder to have compassion when we can't see deep into the problems and challenges that people are facing on the inside. It's a lot easier to recognize outward problems and so it's a lot easier to have sympathy towards individuals who suffer outwardly. But i believe that compassion lies deeper than that. I believe that true compassion happens when we can see inward battles and find ways to heal them. Perspective is huge. Attempting to understand why people do the things they do makes it so much easier to find the strength to help them. Seeing someone suffering and doing something about it is what I think compassion is.
I wanted to see how a real dictionary would define compassion so I went to dictionary.com. The first definitely for compassion is this, "a feeling of deep sympathy and sorrow for another who is stricken by misfortune, accompanied by a strong desire to alleviate the suffering."
You know, there are a lot of people who are suffering right now, and I know that I can do a lot more to "alleviate the suffering." Sometimes just smiling or saying hi to people can really help. We don't have to do huge things to help, but every small act of kindness helps move the work forward. We're all doing our best while we're here. We're all trying to put our best foot forward and find that true inner happiness. I know where I can find that true inner happiness, and I'm working really hard to keep that happiness with me always because I know how important that happiness is. I need it. Having a little bit of compassion for others can make a huge difference if we'll let ourselves do our part. This work will move forward and we will be able to help other people move forward with the compassion we show towards them. Please know that we're all doing our best. We're all just trying to make it through this earth life while enjoying the journey. Making our boxes bigger is scary, but that doesn't mean we shouldn't do it. This entry is scary for me to post, but I feel it right now. I feel like in order to start progressing I need to be immovable and firm. Doing hard things is a part of this life, and it can only make us stronger and better prepared for our next challenges.
-Fluffy
“Violence is not strength, and compassion is not weakness.” -King Arthur (Camelot)
You know all of us are trying to do our best. I don't think that very many of us try to be bad at talking on the phone or keeping in touch, but we're not perfect people. We don't always do or say the right things because we're all still learning how this whole human thing works. We're all still trying to figure out if there's such a thing as loving too much or if it's safe to put our complete love into people. Some of us are still learning the significance of faith and the role it plays in our life. There are just so many things that we're all trying to achieve and learn in this life.
Compassion is something that's really important to me. Ms. Parrish once said something about when we lose compassion then we lose what it means to be human. There's a lot of significance in that statement. Compassion is something that is easy to have but not always easy to remember. What I mean is that sometimes it's easier to feel compassion for people when it's obvious that they need our compassion. Seeing someone sick or hurt automatically brings about a certain amount of compassion from the observing people because it's one of those univeral human truths. Compassion is something that we all understand and feel when we see someone in need.
But how much more difficult is it for us to feel compassion for the man who cuts us off or the family member who seems to be acting impossible? It's a lot harder to have compassion when we can't see deep into the problems and challenges that people are facing on the inside. It's a lot easier to recognize outward problems and so it's a lot easier to have sympathy towards individuals who suffer outwardly. But i believe that compassion lies deeper than that. I believe that true compassion happens when we can see inward battles and find ways to heal them. Perspective is huge. Attempting to understand why people do the things they do makes it so much easier to find the strength to help them. Seeing someone suffering and doing something about it is what I think compassion is.
I wanted to see how a real dictionary would define compassion so I went to dictionary.com. The first definitely for compassion is this, "a feeling of deep sympathy and sorrow for another who is stricken by misfortune, accompanied by a strong desire to alleviate the suffering."
You know, there are a lot of people who are suffering right now, and I know that I can do a lot more to "alleviate the suffering." Sometimes just smiling or saying hi to people can really help. We don't have to do huge things to help, but every small act of kindness helps move the work forward. We're all doing our best while we're here. We're all trying to put our best foot forward and find that true inner happiness. I know where I can find that true inner happiness, and I'm working really hard to keep that happiness with me always because I know how important that happiness is. I need it. Having a little bit of compassion for others can make a huge difference if we'll let ourselves do our part. This work will move forward and we will be able to help other people move forward with the compassion we show towards them. Please know that we're all doing our best. We're all just trying to make it through this earth life while enjoying the journey. Making our boxes bigger is scary, but that doesn't mean we shouldn't do it. This entry is scary for me to post, but I feel it right now. I feel like in order to start progressing I need to be immovable and firm. Doing hard things is a part of this life, and it can only make us stronger and better prepared for our next challenges.
-Fluffy
“Violence is not strength, and compassion is not weakness.” -King Arthur (Camelot)
Monday, October 13, 2008
(8) Quando Quando Quando (8)
Hello there, friends. I have some bad news. Well I guess it could be good news depending on how you feel about my writing. ;) I think that I am officially announcing that I won't be posting every day anymore. I still feel a little undecided about it, but I think it's a good idea for me right now. It kind of makes me feel sad to think about though, but it'll be an opportunity for me to post when I really feel like posting and I'll be able to get some other things done that are a bit more important at this point. I've been slacking on some things, and I think this will help. I won't be writing every night, but I'll still write pretty frequently. Hmmm I didn't think I'd feel so bad about this. It'll be all right though.
It's funny, I didn't really think that I enjoyed blogging quite as much as I do. There's just something really great about writing down what you feel and reading what other people feel. It's sort of a way of binding people together. I like that it's been a really great way of hearing about how other people are doing while they're far away at college. It's nice to reflect on myself as well as read about other people. Blogging is good.
So yes. Today was an interesting day for me. Fall break is turning out...differently than I would like. I'll be working a bit more than I thought, but the money is definitely needed right now. So it'll be good for me and it'll keep me productive. You know that commercial where the girl says that she hasn't had a day off since the fourth grade? I feel like that sometimes lol It's not a bad thing, but it's kind of true. I did get a nap in today though and I went to family home evening. So that was pretty fun. It was a good day. Different that I expected, but still good.
I hope that you're all doing really well tonight. I'm still not sure that I'm ready to let go of this every day thing. I don't always say spectacular things every post, but I still feel like it's helping me in some way. We'll just have to wait and see what happens :) Have a great night, friends.
-Fluffy
It's funny, I didn't really think that I enjoyed blogging quite as much as I do. There's just something really great about writing down what you feel and reading what other people feel. It's sort of a way of binding people together. I like that it's been a really great way of hearing about how other people are doing while they're far away at college. It's nice to reflect on myself as well as read about other people. Blogging is good.
So yes. Today was an interesting day for me. Fall break is turning out...differently than I would like. I'll be working a bit more than I thought, but the money is definitely needed right now. So it'll be good for me and it'll keep me productive. You know that commercial where the girl says that she hasn't had a day off since the fourth grade? I feel like that sometimes lol It's not a bad thing, but it's kind of true. I did get a nap in today though and I went to family home evening. So that was pretty fun. It was a good day. Different that I expected, but still good.
I hope that you're all doing really well tonight. I'm still not sure that I'm ready to let go of this every day thing. I don't always say spectacular things every post, but I still feel like it's helping me in some way. We'll just have to wait and see what happens :) Have a great night, friends.
-Fluffy
Sunday, October 12, 2008
(8) R-E-S-P-E-C-T find out what it means to me (8)
Hmmm I'm not really sure how I'm feeling tonight. Sundays are interesting days for me because it's a day that I reflect on how I'm doing and how i can do better for the next week. Sometimes it has the opposite affect that I want it to. Sometimes I can get pretty down on myself when I reflect too much. It's kind of silly, but sometimes reflection and too much thinking are bad things for me. I tend to over analyze and compare, and neither of those things end well.
I'm not really having that problem tonight. I am, but at the same time I'm just kind of feeling pretty weird. I don't like to listen to music while I post because I know that music affects the way I think and feel, but tonight I am listening to music and posting. It's just Mo Tab. So it's not a big deal, but it's still affecting how I feel, and I'm glad that I can recognize that.
I'm turning it off now.
I don't have school this week, and that makes me pretty happy. I really hope that this week is pretty great. I have quite a few good goals planned, and I'm excited to try and implement them into my life. We'll see how it goes.
You know, today I've been thinking a lot about marriage and dating and all of that ridiculous stuff. I'm not wanting to get married right now or anything. I don't think that I'm even looking for anyone to date me seriously right now; however, it would be kind of nice to date every once in a while. It sounds silly, but it really is a concern of mine. I'm sure it's a concern of a lot of people our age. I had a talk with some people a few days ago about how it's easier for a girl to date a guy, but it's easier for a guy to find a girl to date. I just think it's interesting the way that all works out. I guess it's sort of fair, but I still think that the boy gets the sweet end of the deal on that one. Plus their hair is easier to do.
The point of this whole tangent is that sometimes it would be nice to be cared about in that way. Sometimes it would be nice to know that boys don't think I'm gross or something haha Sometimes it would just be nice to be viewed as a girl who's extra-special to someone. Tonight is one of those nights when all of those things seem like they would be really nice.
It's not a huge deal right now for me, but it's just kind of something that I've sort of been thinking about lately. I just wish that I could look at a cute boy and think that there might be even a tiny chance that he could care about me romantically. I'm sorry if that was a weird subject, but I've been thinking about it a lot lately so I thought I'd share. If it was weird just let me know and maybe I won't write about it again.
So another thing that I've been thinking a lot about lately is trust. I think I have some pretty major trust issues. I sort of rerealized this in my voice lesson this week. I learn a lot about myself in those voice lessons of mine... So he told me that I need to trust that my body will hit the notes that I want it to hit and that I don't have to try as hard as I'm trying right now to sing well. I get pretty tense while I'm singing and I kind of try to make my vocal folds do all the work when really the sound should come from the breath and not my throat. He told me that i should trust myself that things will turn out all right while I'm singing.
I've been thinking about that a lot this week as I've been doing random things. I think that there's a really big part of me that doesn't like to trust myself and other people. Somewhere in the back of my mind i don't let myself be all the way me all the time because I'm afraid that someone else won't accept who I am. It's kind of like I feel like myself isn't always good enough. This feeling of unworthiness is bad. I realize that it's bad, and I'm trying to fix it by focusing on all the good things that I do, but it's really hard to do that sometimes. In the same way that it's hard for me to retrain my voice, it's even harder to retrain my heart and mind to be open to people. Sometimes getting too close is dangerous. People leave and hearts get broken all the time so sometimes it's hard for me to put that trust in people. People are so unpredictable that it's scary to put your complete trust in them.
I think it's also good to recognize that I don't always trust myself. It's hard to trust in myself when I know that I'm prone to making mistakes. It's difficult to put your trust in someone that you know pretty completely. When I recognize my shortcomings, it's easier to be cautious than to just go for things. Trusting is hard. Trusting is really hard.
I'm going to work more on trusting this week. I'm going to work on trusting myself, others, and in the higher power that I know is trustworthy. Trusting will be a gradual process, but it'll be worth it. It's worth it to me to find the confidence in myself that I'm lacking right now because i know that I have things to offer. That's easy to forget when boys don't like me or when trusting in myself seems so distant, but I'm going for it. I'm really trying to live my life right now. I'm trying to take chances and to be as courageous as possible.
I hope that you're all doing well tonight. Sorry if anything that i said was awkward for you to read. Both of those topics were things that I've been keeping pretty private, but I feel like talking about them will help me to grow and be a better person. I hope things are going well for all of you. Night.
-Fluffy
"Live your life."
I'm not really having that problem tonight. I am, but at the same time I'm just kind of feeling pretty weird. I don't like to listen to music while I post because I know that music affects the way I think and feel, but tonight I am listening to music and posting. It's just Mo Tab. So it's not a big deal, but it's still affecting how I feel, and I'm glad that I can recognize that.
I'm turning it off now.
I don't have school this week, and that makes me pretty happy. I really hope that this week is pretty great. I have quite a few good goals planned, and I'm excited to try and implement them into my life. We'll see how it goes.
You know, today I've been thinking a lot about marriage and dating and all of that ridiculous stuff. I'm not wanting to get married right now or anything. I don't think that I'm even looking for anyone to date me seriously right now; however, it would be kind of nice to date every once in a while. It sounds silly, but it really is a concern of mine. I'm sure it's a concern of a lot of people our age. I had a talk with some people a few days ago about how it's easier for a girl to date a guy, but it's easier for a guy to find a girl to date. I just think it's interesting the way that all works out. I guess it's sort of fair, but I still think that the boy gets the sweet end of the deal on that one. Plus their hair is easier to do.
The point of this whole tangent is that sometimes it would be nice to be cared about in that way. Sometimes it would be nice to know that boys don't think I'm gross or something haha Sometimes it would just be nice to be viewed as a girl who's extra-special to someone. Tonight is one of those nights when all of those things seem like they would be really nice.
It's not a huge deal right now for me, but it's just kind of something that I've sort of been thinking about lately. I just wish that I could look at a cute boy and think that there might be even a tiny chance that he could care about me romantically. I'm sorry if that was a weird subject, but I've been thinking about it a lot lately so I thought I'd share. If it was weird just let me know and maybe I won't write about it again.
So another thing that I've been thinking a lot about lately is trust. I think I have some pretty major trust issues. I sort of rerealized this in my voice lesson this week. I learn a lot about myself in those voice lessons of mine... So he told me that I need to trust that my body will hit the notes that I want it to hit and that I don't have to try as hard as I'm trying right now to sing well. I get pretty tense while I'm singing and I kind of try to make my vocal folds do all the work when really the sound should come from the breath and not my throat. He told me that i should trust myself that things will turn out all right while I'm singing.
I've been thinking about that a lot this week as I've been doing random things. I think that there's a really big part of me that doesn't like to trust myself and other people. Somewhere in the back of my mind i don't let myself be all the way me all the time because I'm afraid that someone else won't accept who I am. It's kind of like I feel like myself isn't always good enough. This feeling of unworthiness is bad. I realize that it's bad, and I'm trying to fix it by focusing on all the good things that I do, but it's really hard to do that sometimes. In the same way that it's hard for me to retrain my voice, it's even harder to retrain my heart and mind to be open to people. Sometimes getting too close is dangerous. People leave and hearts get broken all the time so sometimes it's hard for me to put that trust in people. People are so unpredictable that it's scary to put your complete trust in them.
I think it's also good to recognize that I don't always trust myself. It's hard to trust in myself when I know that I'm prone to making mistakes. It's difficult to put your trust in someone that you know pretty completely. When I recognize my shortcomings, it's easier to be cautious than to just go for things. Trusting is hard. Trusting is really hard.
I'm going to work more on trusting this week. I'm going to work on trusting myself, others, and in the higher power that I know is trustworthy. Trusting will be a gradual process, but it'll be worth it. It's worth it to me to find the confidence in myself that I'm lacking right now because i know that I have things to offer. That's easy to forget when boys don't like me or when trusting in myself seems so distant, but I'm going for it. I'm really trying to live my life right now. I'm trying to take chances and to be as courageous as possible.
I hope that you're all doing well tonight. Sorry if anything that i said was awkward for you to read. Both of those topics were things that I've been keeping pretty private, but I feel like talking about them will help me to grow and be a better person. I hope things are going well for all of you. Night.
-Fluffy
"Live your life."
(8) Why are there so many songs about rainbows?"
Do you know what time it is? Holy mariah it's 1:20 AM. It keeps getting worse. If I keep heading this way, then by next week I'll be awake until three in the morning for sure. I can't even think when it's this late.
So today I had a really bad attitude about going to all state downtown. All I could think about was my broken button and how I was going to freeze. So we got down there and got into the concert at about six thirty. It was a really spectacular concert. I felt so bad for having a bad attitude because of how good it was. The sound was great, Dr. Allred was awesome, and the choir was just outstanding. I absolutely loved it. My favorite song was the gospel piece they sang at the very end. I wanted to get up and improvise too. Tomorrow I'm going to try that out and see how it goes. I have a pretty "sweet" sounding voice so I'm not sure that gospel is right for me, but it would be SO cool if it was. It was awesome and i loved it.
Tonight was really fun. I spent a lot of time with people that I really care about, and that made it super. I wouldn't trade today for anything, and I'm so glad that i got to spend it with so many amazing people. So thanks to all the awesome people out there that made my day extra special.
I hope that everyone is having a really great weekend. Tomorrow's going to be a spectacular day. I hope everything is going well for you all. Night.
-Fluffy
Quote of the day: "If I do just a little more every day..." -unknown
So today I had a really bad attitude about going to all state downtown. All I could think about was my broken button and how I was going to freeze. So we got down there and got into the concert at about six thirty. It was a really spectacular concert. I felt so bad for having a bad attitude because of how good it was. The sound was great, Dr. Allred was awesome, and the choir was just outstanding. I absolutely loved it. My favorite song was the gospel piece they sang at the very end. I wanted to get up and improvise too. Tomorrow I'm going to try that out and see how it goes. I have a pretty "sweet" sounding voice so I'm not sure that gospel is right for me, but it would be SO cool if it was. It was awesome and i loved it.
Tonight was really fun. I spent a lot of time with people that I really care about, and that made it super. I wouldn't trade today for anything, and I'm so glad that i got to spend it with so many amazing people. So thanks to all the awesome people out there that made my day extra special.
I hope that everyone is having a really great weekend. Tomorrow's going to be a spectacular day. I hope everything is going well for you all. Night.
-Fluffy
Quote of the day: "If I do just a little more every day..." -unknown
Saturday, October 11, 2008
(8) Makin' banana pancakes (8)
It's officially 1:00 AM. I think that this could be the latest I've ever posted before. Maybe I'll go back and look, but probably not. It's kind of late. Today was a pretty good day. It was SO hard to go to school this morning. I only had two classes and one of them was choir. I did have a midterm in theory though, so i kind of had to go. I don't think that I'm brave enough to skip school anyway lol So my midterm went pretty well I think. I sure hope it went well, and I guess I'll know soon after fall break.
Fall break... is a glorious thing. There's something really really spectacular about knowing that I don't have classes next week. It will be such a good time to catch up on sleep and stuff. I can't even wait. I have some plans that I posted two posts ago I think. Hopefully I'll stick to them and I won't be too lazy over this break.
Today was a really good day, and I'm glad that I had the opportunity to live it. I'm really trying to improve some things, and today was filled with a lot of steps forward and a few steps back. It's to be expected ;)
Oh how wonderful it will be tomorrow to eat a chocolate chip pancake. I've been wanting one of those for quite a few days now, and I think tomorrow is the day to have one. Good night, friends. I really hope that you all have a great weekend! Much love.
-Fluffy
So I know I've used that title before, but I really want a pancake so I'm using it again.
Fall break... is a glorious thing. There's something really really spectacular about knowing that I don't have classes next week. It will be such a good time to catch up on sleep and stuff. I can't even wait. I have some plans that I posted two posts ago I think. Hopefully I'll stick to them and I won't be too lazy over this break.
Today was a really good day, and I'm glad that I had the opportunity to live it. I'm really trying to improve some things, and today was filled with a lot of steps forward and a few steps back. It's to be expected ;)
Oh how wonderful it will be tomorrow to eat a chocolate chip pancake. I've been wanting one of those for quite a few days now, and I think tomorrow is the day to have one. Good night, friends. I really hope that you all have a great weekend! Much love.
-Fluffy
So I know I've used that title before, but I really want a pancake so I'm using it again.
Thursday, October 09, 2008
(8) Try a little tenderness (8)
Today was a relatively good day for me. I feel like my midterms and test went pretty well. The sight singing was a lot better than I thought it would be, and she's a really nice teacher so that helps too. I used to be really quite terrible at sight singing, and it's been cool to see my progress with that one. Pre-performance wasn't so bad either. There were only a few things that i didn't know the answers to. Matching muscles to what their role is in singing was kind of difficult for me, but I really liked the IPA. I got the poem right and I didn't even need to look at my chart. That made me feel pretty good.
In brass study, Mike and I waited until the very last to test on our song. It was actually pretty funny because the rest of the class left because class was over. So it ended up being just me, the teacher, Mike, and a few people that decided to stay because they didn't have class. I did a lot better than I thought I would, and I got to have a pretty good laugh with Mike. It was actually kind of fun aside from still shaking because I was scared. haha Keyboarding really well too, and I did just fine on the song.
I know there was no way i could have done all of those things on my own. There was definitely a lot of divine intervention and I'm really grateful for that. I was so scared for today, and it turned out pretty well.
My sorority was interesting tonight... I'm still trying to get used to it I guess. And I wish that I had someone in there that I knew. Everyone else joined with a friend so I'm a little lonely at the moment. Plus I got lost on the way there. I HATE getting lost because I get so stressed out while I'm lost. But I eventually found it and was only forty five minutes late. They still hadn't started though so it wasn't a big deal.
So yeah, today was a pretty good day for me. I'm exhausted, but I get to sleep in a little bit tomorrow morning which will be really nice. I hope you're all doing well and that things are going well for you. Have a spectacular night and a lovely weekend.
-Fluffy
PS Quote of the day: "Cultivate an attitude of happiness. Cultivate a spirit of optimism. Walk with faith, rejoicing in the beauties of nature, in the goodness of those you love, in the testimony which you carry in your heart concerning things divine." -President Gordon B. Hinckley
In brass study, Mike and I waited until the very last to test on our song. It was actually pretty funny because the rest of the class left because class was over. So it ended up being just me, the teacher, Mike, and a few people that decided to stay because they didn't have class. I did a lot better than I thought I would, and I got to have a pretty good laugh with Mike. It was actually kind of fun aside from still shaking because I was scared. haha Keyboarding really well too, and I did just fine on the song.
I know there was no way i could have done all of those things on my own. There was definitely a lot of divine intervention and I'm really grateful for that. I was so scared for today, and it turned out pretty well.
My sorority was interesting tonight... I'm still trying to get used to it I guess. And I wish that I had someone in there that I knew. Everyone else joined with a friend so I'm a little lonely at the moment. Plus I got lost on the way there. I HATE getting lost because I get so stressed out while I'm lost. But I eventually found it and was only forty five minutes late. They still hadn't started though so it wasn't a big deal.
So yeah, today was a pretty good day for me. I'm exhausted, but I get to sleep in a little bit tomorrow morning which will be really nice. I hope you're all doing well and that things are going well for you. Have a spectacular night and a lovely weekend.
-Fluffy
PS Quote of the day: "Cultivate an attitude of happiness. Cultivate a spirit of optimism. Walk with faith, rejoicing in the beauties of nature, in the goodness of those you love, in the testimony which you carry in your heart concerning things divine." -President Gordon B. Hinckley
Wednesday, October 08, 2008
"Did you every say, Billy, I love you?"
So I'm just going to be honest. I'm kind of freaking out right now. I have three midterms tomorrow and a test. Who does that in one day? Oh right... music majors. I'm freaking out because I don't feel prepared for any of them except the test. I'm terrified for the midterms... I'll let you know how they go, but I'm seriously stressing out right now.
Have I always been this prone to stress? Katie would probably know... maybe I'll ask her tomorrow. I know things are going to be all right, but I don't even know if i'll be able to sleep at this point. I'm super tired and I have another long day ahead of me, but i'm kind of going over the edge emotionally right now. I'm having this huge inner turmoil that's been lasting all day. I'm sure that tomorrow at around 12:00 I'll be feeling not stressed anymore. I might not feel good, but I won't be stressed...
All right, enough about that. Things are going to work out all right. I'll study again on TRAX in the morning. The happy thing of the day was that I got to watch the biggest loser :D And Jessica brought me a tasty pizza something for lunch and Matt gave me a carmel. So aside from school today was a pretty good day. So yeah, things are going to be all right. I should have studied more I think, but I'm a little overwhelmed so I think I'll head to bed soon. The goal for tonight is eleven, and the goal for fall break is to get my life back into order. Things that includes are as follows. (Not in any particular order)
1. Get ready for my piano midterm
2. Clean my room like crazy
3. Exercise plan and better eating
4. relax
5. not playing the trumpet
6. observations
7. going to my singles ward activities and church
8. figure out anything else that seems to be not going as well as it could
So yeah, that's my plan for fall break. I might work too depending on how things work out. Things are going well for me. I'm super stressed, but i know that it will all be fine in the end. There are worse things that not getting an A. i just have to keep telling myself that. There are worse things that not getting an A... or a B. Oh man today is a funny today. Well I think I'm starting to let the stress take over this post so i should leave before I start saying weirder things.
Have a great night everyone. I hope you're all doing well. :)
-Melissa
Have I always been this prone to stress? Katie would probably know... maybe I'll ask her tomorrow. I know things are going to be all right, but I don't even know if i'll be able to sleep at this point. I'm super tired and I have another long day ahead of me, but i'm kind of going over the edge emotionally right now. I'm having this huge inner turmoil that's been lasting all day. I'm sure that tomorrow at around 12:00 I'll be feeling not stressed anymore. I might not feel good, but I won't be stressed...
All right, enough about that. Things are going to work out all right. I'll study again on TRAX in the morning. The happy thing of the day was that I got to watch the biggest loser :D And Jessica brought me a tasty pizza something for lunch and Matt gave me a carmel. So aside from school today was a pretty good day. So yeah, things are going to be all right. I should have studied more I think, but I'm a little overwhelmed so I think I'll head to bed soon. The goal for tonight is eleven, and the goal for fall break is to get my life back into order. Things that includes are as follows. (Not in any particular order)
1. Get ready for my piano midterm
2. Clean my room like crazy
3. Exercise plan and better eating
4. relax
5. not playing the trumpet
6. observations
7. going to my singles ward activities and church
8. figure out anything else that seems to be not going as well as it could
So yeah, that's my plan for fall break. I might work too depending on how things work out. Things are going well for me. I'm super stressed, but i know that it will all be fine in the end. There are worse things that not getting an A. i just have to keep telling myself that. There are worse things that not getting an A... or a B. Oh man today is a funny today. Well I think I'm starting to let the stress take over this post so i should leave before I start saying weirder things.
Have a great night everyone. I hope you're all doing well. :)
-Melissa
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